Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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