The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
