I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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