Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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