she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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