Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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