he told me I talked like a deaf person
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
