words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
