I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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