Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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