your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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