sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
