Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
