Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
