I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
