id be glad to
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
