if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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