fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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