No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
