I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
