he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
