Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
