I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
