Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
