I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
