I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
