he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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