We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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