you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
