she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
