My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
