Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
