i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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