So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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