Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
