Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
