Just mADE A PArabola og urine
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
