WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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