Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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