you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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