I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
