I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So vagazzling was a success
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
