The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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