i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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