First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
PANTIES FOUND
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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