im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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