you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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