I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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