My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
