I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
