hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
