She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
