the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
